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When families are navigating behavioral challenges — whether it’s a child acting out, conflict between siblings, or ongoing tension between caregivers — the natural impulse is to turn to the therapist as the “expert” to fix the problem. In that moment, families often believe that they have little to offer, that the solution must come from outside of them, and that their relationships and history have little to do with the issue at hand.

But as systemic family therapists, we know that this approach is incomplete. In fact, it can be harmful. When families start to believe they are powerless in the face of problems, they become passive observers rather than active participants in their own growth. And when therapists reinforce this dynamic — intentionally or not — we rob families of their agency and diminish the power of the relational system.

A strength-based, relational approach turns this on its head.

Rather than focusing solely on what’s broken, we look for what’s working — the small moments of connection, care, resilience, and effort that already exist within the family system. We ask ourselves:

• Where are the strengths hiding in plain sight?
• How can we build on those to address behavioral challenges together?
• What has this family survived, overcome, or adapted to before?

This perspective allows us to solve problems relationally, not just behaviorally. A child’s acting-out behavior isn’t addressed in isolation but understood within the context of relationships, stressors, patterns, and roles in the family. We see behavior as communication, shaped by the family’s environment, expectations, and connection.

When families experience this shift, everything changes. They stop waiting for the expert to deliver answers and begin participating in creating solutions. They regain a sense of capability and confidence, recognizing that their relationships are not only part of the problem — but the foundation of the solution.

At PCFTTC, we believe that every family holds the raw material for their own healing. Our role is to uncover, name, and strengthen those existing resources while guiding families toward healthier, more connected ways of being together.

Strength-based, relational work isn’t about being soft — it’s about being strategic, respectful, and effective. It’s how we create change that lasts.

Systemic family therapy stands at the intersection of healing, connection, and transformation. The MLG Awards not only celebrate the incredible achievements of today’s leaders in the field but also pay homage to the foundational work of systemic family therapy’s pioneers, such as Salvador Minuchin and Dr. Marion Lindblad-Goldberg. Minuchin’s groundbreaking contributions established structural family therapy as a cornerstone for understanding and addressing relational dynamics, while Dr. Lindblad-Goldberg advanced this legacy by integrating ecological and trauma-informed approaches. This award recognizes the profound impact systemic family therapy has on families, communities, and professionals. By honoring those who exemplify these values, the MLG Awards inspire ongoing innovation and excellence in a field dedicated to addressing complex challenges and fostering meaningful change. It’s more than an award; it’s a continuation of a legacy that transforms lives, one relationship at a time. Join us in celebrating the extraordinary contributions of systemic family therapy practitioners who, like Minuchin and Lindblad-Goldberg, are committed to making the world a brighter, more connected place.

Co-parent relationships can face stressors stemming from both family of origin dynamics and present-day challenges with children. These factors often intertwine, compounding the difficulties. Here’s an overview:

Family of Origin Stressors

1. Attachment Styles: Early attachment experiences influence how individuals approach relationships, conflict, and parenting. Mismatched attachment styles can create misunderstandings and tension.
2. Unresolved Trauma: Adverse experiences in childhood, such as abuse, neglect, or family conflict, may resurface in co-parenting dynamics, impacting communication and trust.
3. Modeling of Relationships: The way each partner’s parents handled co-parenting, conflict resolution, and family roles can unconsciously shape expectations and behaviors in their current relationship.
4. Loyalty Binds: Emotional loyalty to one’s family of origin can create conflicts if priorities or boundaries clash with those in the co-parenting relationship.
5. Cultural or Value Differences: Partners from different backgrounds or with differing family values may struggle to align on parenting styles or priorities.

Present-Day Challenges with Children

1. Parenting Style Clashes: Differing opinions on discipline, routines, and expectations for children can lead to frequent conflict.
2. Stress from Special Needs: Parenting children with special needs, chronic illnesses, or behavioral challenges can increase tension due to differing approaches or feelings of inadequacy.
3. Time and Financial Pressures: Balancing work, household responsibilities, and financial obligations can strain the relationship and reduce patience or empathy.
4. Behavioral Issues in Children: Difficulties such as defiance, anxiety, or academic struggles can lead to blame-shifting or feelings of failure within the partnership.
5. Parental Burnout: Exhaustion from the demands of parenting can hinder effective communication and emotional availability in the co-parenting relationship.
6. Influence of External Systems: Schools, social systems, or extended family members may complicate parenting decisions, creating division between co-parents.

Mitigating These Stressors

• Self-Awareness: Understanding how personal history influences current behaviors and expectations can help address underlying issues.
• Open Communication: Honest, respectful dialogue about past and present influences can strengthen alignment.
• Therapeutic Support: Family or couples therapy can provide tools for navigating conflicts and building a stronger co-parenting partnership.
• Shared Goals: Focusing on the child’s well-being can help reframe conflicts as opportunities for teamwork rather than competition.
• Flexibility and Compromise: A willingness to adapt and meet each other halfway can ease tension and build trust.

How Social Ecology Informs the Culture of Play

Play is often regarded as a universal activity, integral to the development and well-being of children and adults alike. Yet, the culture of play is deeply shaped by the environments and social systems that surround it. Social ecology, a framework that examines the interplay between individuals and their environments, provides a valuable lens through which we can understand and enhance the culture of play.

Understanding Social Ecology

Social ecology emphasizes the interconnectedness of individuals, families, communities, and larger societal systems. It considers how relationships, cultural norms, physical spaces, and institutional structures influence behavior and development. This holistic perspective allows us to see play not just as an isolated activity but as a dynamic expression shaped by social, cultural, and environmental contexts.

The Role of Social Ecology in Shaping Play

1. Cultural Norms and Values Cultural expectations heavily influence the way play is expressed and valued. For example, in some cultures, imaginative play is encouraged as a means of fostering creativity and problem-solving, while in others, structured play that teaches discipline and teamwork might take precedence. Social ecology highlights the importance of respecting and integrating these cultural nuances into the promotion of play.
2. Family Systems and Play Families are often the primary facilitators of play, particularly in early childhood. Parental attitudes toward play—whether they view it as frivolous or essential—can profoundly impact children’s engagement. Social ecology underscores the importance of supporting caregivers in understanding the developmental benefits of play, including its role in fostering attachment, emotional regulation, and resilience.
3. Community Spaces and Accessibility The availability and design of physical spaces play a crucial role in shaping the culture of play. Parks, playgrounds, and community centers provide opportunities for diverse groups to come together and engage in play. How does the family’s social ecology advocate for inclusive and accessible play spaces that reflect the needs of all community members, including those with disabilities?
4. Educational Systems and Play Schools are key environments where play culture is either nurtured or constrained. Recess, free play, and play-based learning contribute to cognitive, social, and emotional development. However, the increasing focus on academic achievement has, in some cases, diminished the time allocated for play. A social ecological approach calls for policies and practices that integrate play as a fundamental component of education.
5. Technology and Play In the modern era, technology has become a significant factor in the culture of play. Digital games and online interactions offer new opportunities for creativity and connection but can also lead to challenges such as screen addiction and reduced physical activity. Social ecology helps us balance these dynamics by encouraging technology use that complements traditional forms of play and promotes positive social interactions.

Building a Healthy Culture of Play

To cultivate a thriving culture of play, it is essential to address the social ecological factors that influence it. Here are some strategies:

• Engage Families: Provide resources and education to caregivers about the importance of play and ways to support it within the home and community.
• Design Inclusive Spaces: Advocate for play areas that are safe, accessible, and reflective of the diverse needs of the community.
• Support Play-Based Learning: Encourage schools to incorporate play as a central element of their curricula, recognizing its role in holistic development.
• Foster Community Collaboration: Partner with local organizations, governments, and businesses to create programs and initiatives that prioritize play.
• Adapt to Cultural Contexts: Develop play opportunities that honor and integrate the cultural values of the communities they serve.

Conclusion

The culture of play is more than just the activities we engage in; it reflects the social, cultural, and environmental systems that surround us. By adopting a social ecological perspective, we can better understand how to create environments that support and celebrate play in all its forms. In doing so, we not only enrich individual lives but also strengthen the social fabric of our communities.

As a systemic family therapist, the demands of the profession can often feel overwhelming. Between managing complex family dynamics, staying on top of paperwork, and maintaining a compassionate presence for clients, it’s easy to let work bleed into personal time. Without a proper work-life balance, therapists may find themselves on a path toward burnout. Maintaining balance is essential not only for personal well-being but also for providing the best care to clients. Here are some practical tips to achieve a healthier balance.

1. Set Clear Boundaries:
Creating and maintaining clear boundaries between work and personal time is essential. Set a specific time each day to stop responding to work-related emails or phone calls. Clearly communicate your working hours to clients and colleagues, and be disciplined in adhering to them. This will help you protect your personal time and recharge.

2. Prioritize Self-Care:
Just as you encourage clients to practice self-care, it’s important to do the same. Make time for activities that nurture your mental, emotional, and physical well-being, whether it’s exercising, meditating, or spending time with loved ones. Remember, self-care is not a luxury—it’s a necessity. And make sure you have differentiated the goal of the self-care versus the basics goal. For example, walking 30 minutes a day. And, 10 minutes is better then no walking especially when you felt you didn’t have 30 minutes to spare.

3. Schedule Breaks:
Systemic family therapy requires intense focus and emotional energy. Taking regular breaks throughout your day helps you avoid exhaustion. A quick walk between sessions or some quiet time to decompress will increase your effectiveness and clarity when you return to your clients. You have an ethical responsibility to do what is best for the family and work your growth. This means you will need breaks. This will help you prepare and be intentional in sessions.

4. Engage in Supervision and Peer Support:
Connecting with other therapists and engaging in regular supervision is essential for maintaining your well-being. Sharing challenges and successes with colleagues can help lighten the emotional load and offer new perspectives that refresh your approach to your work. You need to negotiate this practice in advance. Everyone needs to document consultation for every case they are treating.

5. Reflect and Reassess Regularly:
Periodically reflect on your work-life balance and make adjustments as needed. Some weeks may demand more from you professionally, while others may allow for more personal time. It’s important to remain flexible and make adjustments when necessary to avoid long-term imbalance.

By actively prioritizing these strategies, systemic family therapists can maintain the balance needed to thrive both professionally and personally.