Author: Jennifer Benjamin
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Burnout and Feedback: Holding Your Work Without Losing Yourself
Therapists are often told to stay reflective, take feedback in stride, and manage their energy. But when you’re experiencing emotional burnout, even minor criticism from a client can feel overwhelming.
Burnout isn’t a sign that you’re doing something wrong—it’s often a sign that you’ve been giving without enough replenishment. And when that’s paired with negative client feedback, it can create self-doubt and isolation.
Systemic family therapists are trained to hold complexity, but we often forget that we are also part of the system. We are influenced by the emotional load we carry, and by the stories we witness. If we don’t build structures of care around ourselves, we start to lose the clarity and compassion that make this work meaningful.
Negative feedback doesn’t have to be internalized—it can be contextualized. Ask: Is this about the therapeutic relationship? A reaction to change? A reflection of broader stress in the system?
More importantly, how are you tending to yourself? Supervision, peer support, and even a quiet walk after a tough session are not luxuries—they’re necessities. Therapists can’t pour from an empty cup. We need to refill regularly, and permission ourselves to rest without guilt.
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When Time is Tight: Engaging the Whole Family in Brief Moments
Engaging every member of a family in therapy is no small feat. In many sessions, one or two voices dominate while others fade into the background. Add in tight session times, and it’s tempting to focus on immediate issues rather than broad engagement.
But presence matters more than perfection. The goal isn’t to fix every dynamic in one session—it’s to build small, intentional moments of connection across time. Each session is a stepping stone toward larger transformation.
Start by redefining success. Engagement doesn’t always mean equal talk time. It might mean one small contribution from a typically silent member. It might look like a validating nod or a moment of shared laughter. These moments matter.
Time constraints force us to be strategic:
- Use change enactments to invite all members to speak without pressure.
- Set clear, attainable goals for each session.
- Circle back to quieter members and validate their presence, even if they say little.
Remember, engagement is not a single moment—it’s a relationship built over time. The more consistent and inclusive the therapist’s approach, the more likely family members are to show up not just physically, but emotionally.
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Celebrating Kristen M.: A 2025 Marion Lindblad-Goldberg Award Nominee
At the Philadelphia Child and Family Therapy Training Center, we are honored to celebrate Kristen M. as a nominee for the 2025 Marion Lindblad-Goldberg (MLG) Award. This award recognizes professionals who embody the principles of Ecosystemic Structural Family Therapy (ESFT), demonstrating exceptional clinical skills, commitment to systemic change, and a deep understanding of relational healing.
A Master of Joining and Reframing
One of Kristen’s greatest strengths as a family-based mental health worker (MHW) is her ability to join with families in an authentic and meaningful way. Her creativity and out-of-the-box thinking allow her to seamlessly integrate reframes, helping families shift their perspectives while maintaining integrity in the natural assessment process.
Kristen understands the isomorphic process, recognizing how her own growth as a clinician shapes the skills and techniques she brings into family work. She models the same healthy relational dynamics she seeks to foster within families, leading by example and instilling hope.
A Systemic Lens for Lasting Change
With a deep appreciation for social ecology and family systems, Kristen leverages assessments throughout therapy to highlight the interconnectedness of relationships and environments. She helps families identify and strengthen their natural interactional patterns (NIP) while guiding them toward the preferred interactional patterns (PIP) necessary for long-term change. Her strengths-based approach ensures that families feel empowered rather than judged, supported rather than overwhelmed.
Her ability to find clarity within crisis is another testament to her skill. When chaos arises, Kristen remains steady and insightful, helping families navigate challenges with resilience and purpose.
A Leader in Learning and Collaboration
Kristen’s impact extends beyond direct clinical work—she is also a dedicated learner, team member, and mentor. Her attentiveness and engagement during trainings and supervisions set a high standard for professional growth. She brings fresh, innovative perspectives to discussions, enriching the learning environment for her peers.
A Well-Deserved Nomination
Kristen Melendez embodies the heart of systemic family therapy. Through her unwavering commitment to families, her creative problem-solving, and her dedication to ongoing learning, she exemplifies the very best of the ESFT model.
We are incredibly proud to recognize Kristen as a 2025 MLG Award nominee and celebrate her passion, expertise, and impact on the families she serves.
Congratulations, Kristen! 🎉
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Celebrating Christi T: A 2025 Marion Lindblad-Goldberg Award Nominee
We are delighted to announce that Christi Taylor has been nominated for the 2025 Marion Lindblad-Goldberg (MLG) Award in recognition of her exceptional understanding and application of Ecosystemic Structural Family Therapy (ESFT). Christi’s ability to integrate systemic thinking, isomorphic process, and strengths-based approaches has made a profound impact on the families she serves and the colleagues she mentors.
One of Christi’s greatest strengths is her deep comprehension of the ESFT model. She not only applies these principles in family-based treatment but also actively incorporates them into trainings and supervisions, ensuring that the model is consistently reinforced across all levels of practice. Her ability to see the larger systemic picture allows her to guide both families and clinicians through complex relational dynamics with clarity and purpose.
Christi excels at maintaining professional boundaries while fostering strong collaboration with families. She creates an atmosphere of trust and mutual respect, allowing families to engage in the therapy process in a meaningful way. Her natural ability to join with families while upholding structure helps facilitate lasting change and growth.
A hallmark of Christi’s work is her commitment to a strengths-based approach. She encourages families to view crisis and chaos as opportunities for learning and transformation, helping them recognize and reinforce positive interactional patterns. Through her skillful use of assessment tools, Christi goes beyond surface-level treatment—she helps families understand their past, present, and future expectations and boundaries, ensuring they have a roadmap for sustained progress.
Christi’s dedication extends beyond her direct work with families. She brings fresh perspectives to supervisions, trainings, and treatment planning, challenging her colleagues to think critically and deepen their own understanding of systemic therapy. Her contributions to the family-based teams enhance the collective ability to provide high-quality, model-driven care.
For her expertise, leadership, and unwavering commitment to systemic family therapy, we are honored to recognize Christi Taylor as a nominee for the 2025 MLG Award. Her work continues to inspire both families and fellow clinicians, leaving a lasting impact on the field of family-based services.
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Turning Resistance into Communication Opportunities
Resistance from clients is one of the most common and frustrating challenges therapists face. Whether it’s missed appointments, shutdowns in session, or flat-out refusal to engage, resistance can feel like a personal failure or a sign that therapy isn’t working. But what if resistance is actually a form of communication?
In systemic family therapy, we reframe resistance not as opposition, but as protection. Often, clients resist because they feel vulnerable, uncertain, or unheard. In fact, that resistance may be signaling something crucial: a desire for improved family communication but a fear of the discomfort or change that might come with it.
By approaching resistance with curiosity rather than control, we open a door to deeper engagement. Instead of asking “Why won’t they cooperate?” we ask, “What are they trying to protect? What do they need to feel safe enough to participate?” This shift reframes resistance as a relational signal—not a defect.
Therapists can leverage moments of resistance by validating the client’s concerns and aligning with their underlying needs. Resistance often melts when a client feels truly seen and heard—especially when they’re struggling to find their voice in a complicated family system.
Improved family communication is not a byproduct of therapy—it’s a central goal. When resistance arises, it’s a cue that the path to better communication is available—but not yet accessible. Our role is to guide the family toward it by leaning into discomfort, modeling vulnerability, and keeping the relational frame intact.
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Celebrating Kristie H: A 2025 Marion Lindblad-Goldberg Award – Supervisor Nominee
We are thrilled to announce that Kristie Hartzel has been nominated for the 2025 Marion Lindblad-Goldberg (MLG) Award in recognition of her exceptional leadership, dedication to systemic family therapy, and commitment to professional development.
Kristie brings a strong systemic perspective to her work, ensuring that every aspect of the program aligns with Ecosystemic Structural Family Therapy (ESFT). She utilizes parallel process to help her employees not only understand systemic principles but also apply them effectively in sessions. By guiding her team through the learning process, Kristi ensures that each clinician can integrate systemic strategies into their work with families.
One of Kristie’s greatest strengths is her ability to create a collaborative and supportive environment while maintaining professional boundaries. She fosters a space where employees feel comfortable expressing themselves while also holding them to high professional standards. Her transparency, clear expectations, and structured supervision allow her team to develop their skills with confidence and clarity.
Kristie is also known for her hands-on approach to learning, incorporating role-plays and real-life scenarios into supervision. By walking her team through crisis situations in a controlled and supportive setting, she ensures they are prepared for high-intensity calls and complex family dynamics. Her focus on social ecology and live experiences further strengthens her team’s ability to engage families in meaningful and effective ways.
A hallmark of Kristie’s leadership is her commitment to self-discovery and personal growth. She uses simple yet powerful questions to guide her employees toward insight and professional development without them even realizing how much they are learning in the moment. Each supervision session is an opportunity for growth, and those who work with Kristi leave feeling more confident, competent, and prepared to serve families.
For her unwavering dedication to training, her ability to inspire growth, and her leadership in systemic family therapy, we are honored to celebrate Kristie Hartzel as a nominee for the 2025 MLG Award. Her impact on the field is profound, and her work continues to shape the next generation of systemic family therapists.
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🎉 What an Incredible Weekend at GAMFT 2025! 🎉
The Philadelphia Child and Family Therapy Training Center (PCFTTC) had an amazing time training and connecting at the GAMFT 2025 Spring Conference in Atlanta!
From Dr. Steve Simms’ inspiring keynote on the power of clinical supervision, deliberate practice and systemic family therapy principles, not to mention the energy, passion, and dedication from everyone in attendance was truly unforgettable. 🌟
We’re leaving Atlanta feeling recharged, inspired, and even more committed to strengthening the systemic family therapy community. A huge THANK YOU to all the brilliant systemically trained family therapists, supervisors, and leaders we had the privilege to meet — the new connections and conversations we formed this weekend will ripple forward in exciting ways! 🌱
PCFTTC is proud to be part of a growing network that believes in collaboration, systemic thinking, and building stronger, more resilient families and communities.
Stay tuned — May’s newsletter will share more of this incredible weekend!!!
#GAMFT2025 #SystemicFamilyTherapy #PCFTTC #ProfessionalGrowth #ClinicalSupervision #BuildingConnections #FamilyTherapy #TherapistCommunity
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💡 Why a Strength-Based, Relational Approach Matters💡
When families are navigating behavioral challenges — whether it’s a child acting out, conflict between siblings, or ongoing tension between caregivers — the natural impulse is to turn to the therapist as the “expert” to fix the problem. In that moment, families often believe that they have little to offer, that the solution must come from outside of them, and that their relationships and history have little to do with the issue at hand.
But as systemic family therapists, we know that this approach is incomplete. In fact, it can be harmful. When families start to believe they are powerless in the face of problems, they become passive observers rather than active participants in their own growth. And when therapists reinforce this dynamic — intentionally or not — we rob families of their agency and diminish the power of the relational system.
A strength-based, relational approach turns this on its head.
Rather than focusing solely on what’s broken, we look for what’s working — the small moments of connection, care, resilience, and effort that already exist within the family system. We ask ourselves:
- Where are the strengths hiding in plain sight?
- How can we build on those to address behavioral challenges together?
- What has this family survived, overcome, or adapted to before?
This perspective allows us to solve problems relationally, not just behaviorally. A child’s acting-out behavior isn’t addressed in isolation but understood within the context of relationships, stressors, patterns, and roles in the family. We see behavior as communication, shaped by the family’s environment, expectations, and connection.
When families experience this shift, everything changes. They stop waiting for the expert to deliver answers and begin participating in creating solutions. They regain a sense of capability and confidence, recognizing that their relationships are not only part of the problem — but the foundation of the solution.
At PCFTTC, we believe that every family holds the raw material for their own healing. Our role is to uncover, name, and strengthen those existing resources while guiding families toward healthier, more connected ways of being together.
Strength-based, relational work isn’t about being soft — it’s about being strategic, respectful, and effective. It’s how we create change that lasts.
