What if the rule of thirds applied to your work with families…this could make a lot of sense since systemic family therapist are always working their growth and development…

By embracing the rule of thirds, systemic family therapists can cultivate a realistic and resilient approach to their practice, fostering long-term success and personal satisfaction.
1. Feeling Good About Your Performance (33%)
- Client Breakthroughs: There will be moments when you witness significant breakthroughs and progress in your clients. These successes reinforce your confidence in your skills and the effectiveness of your therapeutic interventions.
- Positive Feedback: Receiving appreciation and positive feedback from clients and colleagues can validate your efforts and approaches.
- Personal Fulfillment: Seeing families heal, improve their communication, and strengthen their relationships can bring a deep sense of personal and professional fulfillment.
2. Feeling Okay About Your Performance (33%)
- Steady Progress: Many sessions will involve steady, incremental progress rather than dramatic changes. These sessions are crucial for building trust and laying the groundwork for future breakthroughs.
- Routine Challenges: Encountering routine challenges and working through them is a normal part of the therapeutic process. These moments help you refine your skills and approaches.
- Professional Growth: Learning from these experiences and seeking supervision or peer support can enhance your competencies and resilience.
3. Feeling Like It Didn’t Go as Planned (33%)
- Setbacks: Therapy can be unpredictable, and there will be sessions where things don’t go as planned. Clients may resist interventions, or new issues may emerge that complicate the process.
- Self-Doubt: It’s natural to question your effectiveness or feel disheartened when progress stalls or conflicts arise within the family system.
- Learning Opportunities: These challenging sessions are valuable learning opportunities. Reflecting on what went wrong, seeking supervision, and adapting your approach can lead to professional growth and better outcomes in the future.
Embracing the Rule of Thirds
- Balanced Perspective: Understanding and accepting the rule of thirds helps maintain a balanced perspective on your work. It prevents you from becoming overly discouraged by setbacks or overly complacent during smooth periods.
- Resilience Building: Recognizing that feeling good, okay, and challenged is a normal part of the therapeutic process builds resilience. It helps you stay motivated and committed to your clients and your professional development.
- Continuous Improvement: Each experience, whether positive, neutral, or negative, contributes to your growth as a therapist. Use these experiences to continually improve your skills and approaches.
Practical Tips
- Reflect Regularly: Take time to reflect on your sessions, noting what went well, what was just okay, and what didn’t go as planned. This reflection can guide your ongoing development.
- Seek Support: Engage in supervision and peer support to gain insights and strategies for dealing with challenging sessions.
- Deliberately Practice: Role play how you can do things differently next time you are faced with the interactional pattern. Or, role play delivering the reframe, staying in the enactment or using the reframe to join!
- Record and Review: Record your work with your families and watch the tape with people you know are committed to your growth and development (always manage HIPAA).
- Practice Self-Care: Maintain your well-being through self-care practices to ensure you can effectively support your clients.
Supervising new therapists who are fearful they will cause harm to clients due to inexperience is common…

A common fear among new therapists is that their inexperience might inadvertently cause harm to clients. This concern is shared by their supervisors, who hold a critical role in mitigating such risks. To address this fear, supervisors must create a supportive and collaborative environment that encourages supervisees to share their work openly and accept constructive feedback. This involves fostering a sense of trust and safety, where supervisees feel comfortable sharing video recordings of their sessions. By doing so, supervisors can provide direct and specific feedback based on actual interactions with clients, making the learning experience more relevant and impactful.
The use of therapist assessment tools is another essential component in this process. These tools help to objectively evaluate the supervisees’ skills and identify areas that require improvement. They offer a structured approach to feedback, ensuring that it is comprehensive and focused on enhancing the supervisees’ competencies. Moreover, these assessments can serve as a benchmark for tracking progress over time, giving both supervisors and supervisees a clear picture of development and areas needing attention.
Role plays and deliberate practice are equally important in preparing supervisees to handle real-world scenarios effectively. Through role-playing exercises, supervisees can practice interventions in a controlled environment, receive immediate feedback, and refine their techniques before applying them in actual therapy sessions. This hands-on approach helps build confidence and competence, reducing the likelihood of errors that could potentially harm clients.
By being actively engaged with their supervisees, supervisors not only alleviate the fear of causing harm but also contribute to the overall professional growth of new therapists. This collaborative approach ensures that supervisees are well-equipped to provide high-quality care, ultimately benefiting both the therapists and their clients.
A family coming together to watch the Olympics can serve as a powerful enactment to practice positive interactions and strengthen their bonds.

A family coming together to watch the Olympics can serve as a powerful enactment to practice positive interactions and strengthen their bonds. As they gather around the TV, the shared excitement and anticipation of the games create a natural opportunity for connection. Each member can take turns choosing events to watch, fostering a sense of inclusion and respect for individual preferences.
The diverse range of sports and athletes from around the world provides ample topics for conversation, encouraging family members to share their thoughts and insights. This shared activity allows for the practice of active listening, where each person feels heard and valued. Cheering for athletes together can also build a sense of teamwork and collective support, mirroring the cooperation needed in family dynamics.
Additionally, the family can use this time to celebrate achievements, both of the athletes and their own. Drawing parallels between the dedication and perseverance of Olympians and their personal goals can inspire and motivate everyone. Through these positive interactions, the family strengthens their communication skills, builds empathy, and enhances their emotional connection.
Overall, watching the Olympics together can transform into more than just a recreational activity; it becomes a meaningful practice in nurturing positive family relationships and fostering a supportive home environment.