Resistance from clients is one of the most common and frustrating challenges therapists face. Whether it’s missed appointments, shutdowns in session, or flat-out refusal to engage, resistance can feel like a personal failure or a sign that therapy isn’t working. But what if resistance is actually a form of communication?
In systemic family therapy, we reframe resistance not as opposition, but as protection. Often, clients resist because they feel vulnerable, uncertain, or unheard. In fact, that resistance may be signaling something crucial: a desire for improved family communication but a fear of the discomfort or change that might come with it.
By approaching resistance with curiosity rather than control, we open a door to deeper engagement. Instead of asking “Why won’t they cooperate?” we ask, “What are they trying to protect? What do they need to feel safe enough to participate?” This shift reframes resistance as a relational signal—not a defect.
Therapists can leverage moments of resistance by validating the client’s concerns and aligning with their underlying needs. Resistance often melts when a client feels truly seen and heard—especially when they’re struggling to find their voice in a complicated family system.
Improved family communication is not a byproduct of therapy—it’s a central goal. When resistance arises, it’s a cue that the path to better communication is available—but not yet accessible. Our role is to guide the family toward it by leaning into discomfort, modeling vulnerability, and keeping the relational frame intact.
We are thrilled to announce that Kristie Hartzel has been nominated for the 2025 Marion Lindblad-Goldberg (MLG) Award in recognition of her exceptional leadership, dedication to systemic family therapy, and commitment to professional development.
Kristie brings a strong systemic perspective to her work, ensuring that every aspect of the program aligns with Ecosystemic Structural Family Therapy (ESFT). She utilizes parallel process to help her employees not only understand systemic principles but also apply them effectively in sessions. By guiding her team through the learning process, Kristi ensures that each clinician can integrate systemic strategies into their work with families.
One of Kristie’s greatest strengths is her ability to create a collaborative and supportive environment while maintaining professional boundaries. She fosters a space where employees feel comfortable expressing themselves while also holding them to high professional standards. Her transparency, clear expectations, and structured supervision allow her team to develop their skills with confidence and clarity.
Kristie is also known for her hands-on approach to learning, incorporating role-plays and real-life scenarios into supervision. By walking her team through crisis situations in a controlled and supportive setting, she ensures they are prepared for high-intensity calls and complex family dynamics. Her focus on social ecology and live experiences further strengthens her team’s ability to engage families in meaningful and effective ways.
A hallmark of Kristie’s leadership is her commitment to self-discovery and personal growth. She uses simple yet powerful questions to guide her employees toward insight and professional development without them even realizing how much they are learning in the moment. Each supervision session is an opportunity for growth, and those who work with Kristi leave feeling more confident, competent, and prepared to serve families.
For her unwavering dedication to training, her ability to inspire growth, and her leadership in systemic family therapy, we are honored to celebrate Kristie Hartzel as a nominee for the 2025 MLG Award. Her impact on the field is profound, and her work continues to shape the next generation of systemic family therapists.
The Philadelphia Child and Family Therapy Training Center (PCFTTC) had an amazing time training and connecting at the GAMFT 2025 Spring Conference in Atlanta!
From Dr. Steve Simms’ inspiring keynote on the power of clinical supervision, deliberate practice and systemic family therapy principles, not to mention the energy, passion, and dedication from everyone in attendance was truly unforgettable. 🌟
We’re leaving Atlanta feeling recharged, inspired, and even more committed to strengthening the systemic family therapy community. A huge THANK YOU to all the brilliant systemically trained family therapists, supervisors, and leaders we had the privilege to meet — the new connections and conversations we formed this weekend will ripple forward in exciting ways! 🌱
PCFTTC is proud to be part of a growing network that believes in collaboration, systemic thinking, and building stronger, more resilient families and communities.
Stay tuned — May’s newsletter will share more of this incredible weekend!!!
When families are navigating behavioral challenges — whether it’s a child acting out, conflict between siblings, or ongoing tension between caregivers — the natural impulse is to turn to the therapist as the “expert” to fix the problem. In that moment, families often believe that they have little to offer, that the solution must come from outside of them, and that their relationships and history have little to do with the issue at hand.
But as systemic family therapists, we know that this approach is incomplete. In fact, it can be harmful. When families start to believe they are powerless in the face of problems, they become passive observers rather than active participants in their own growth. And when therapists reinforce this dynamic — intentionally or not — we rob families of their agency and diminish the power of the relational system.
A strength-based, relational approach turns this on its head.
Rather than focusing solely on what’s broken, we look for what’s working — the small moments of connection, care, resilience, and effort that already exist within the family system. We ask ourselves:
Where are the strengths hiding in plain sight?
How can we build on those to address behavioral challenges together?
What has this family survived, overcome, or adapted to before?
This perspective allows us to solve problems relationally, not just behaviorally. A child’s acting-out behavior isn’t addressed in isolation but understood within the context of relationships, stressors, patterns, and roles in the family. We see behavior as communication, shaped by the family’s environment, expectations, and connection.
When families experience this shift, everything changes. They stop waiting for the expert to deliver answers and begin participating in creating solutions. They regain a sense of capability and confidence, recognizing that their relationships are not only part of the problem — but the foundation of the solution.
At PCFTTC, we believe that every family holds the raw material for their own healing. Our role is to uncover, name, and strengthen those existing resources while guiding families toward healthier, more connected ways of being together.
Strength-based, relational work isn’t about being soft — it’s about being strategic, respectful, and effective. It’s how we create change that lasts.
Fast can be fragile. Adaptability without character can break when it matters most.
Nearly a decade ago, Team of Teams changed how we think about building organizations. It showed us that in complex, high-velocity environments, speed and adaptability come not from control but from trust, shared consciousness, common purpose, and empowered execution.
But, in a world of rapid technological change and moral booby traps around every corner, adaptability alone isn’t enough. Because what holds systems together under pressure isn’t just structure. It’s character. The hidden variable in high-performing organizations isn’t just howyou lead. It’s whoyou are while leading.
That’s where On Characterenters, the latest book from Stan McChrystal, examining the shifting focus from systems to the individual. Exceptional leaders don’t just drive results; they embody values like humility, integrity, and selflessness. These aren’t soft skills. They are the foundation of trust, loyalty, and long-term impact.
Together, Team of Teams and On Character offer a simple but profound truth:
You can build a highly adaptive organization, but it will only be as strong as the character of its members. Speed is necessary. Adaptability is required. But trust and character are what endure.
Leaders must question their convictions and consider how deep their values truly go. Ask yourself:
Am I exhibiting the behaviors I expect of my people?
Do my decisions reflect conviction or convenience?
Would my team describe me as someone worth following, especially when it’s hard?
As you reflect on your own contribution to the “culture + system = sustained high-performance” equation, we invite you to explore our resources from the Team of Teams 10th Anniversary collection, designed to help leaders build adaptable systems and enduring character.
The Philadelphia Child and Family Therapy Training Center is proud to recognize Pinky Patel as a nominee for the 2025 Marion Lindblad-Goldberg (MLG) Award for Trainers. This award honors individuals who have made exceptional contributions to training and mentoring in Ecosystemic Structural Family Therapy (ESFT), fostering growth in professionals dedicated to strengthening families.
A Transformative Trainer and Mentor
For the past four years, Pinky has been a guiding force in the professional development of family therapists, particularly in Nova Scotia Cohort, where she has helped teams move beyond learning an approach to actively practicing it. As a trainer, she skillfully balances expertise with compassion, creating a learning environment where clinicians feel safe to take risks, try new interventions, and receive feedback with an open mind.
Her ability to bridge systems and perspectives makes her an invaluable trainer. Pinky recognizes the differences between treatment models in Canada and the U.S. and fosters collaborative discussions that honor these distinctions while maintaining the integrity of ESFT principles. Her professionalism, patience, and kindness allow her to support teams as they navigate challenges and refine their skills.
A Commitment to Systemic and Trauma-Informed Practice
Pinky’s deep understanding of systemic work enables her to see both the fine details and the broader horizon of treatment for the vulnerable children and families she supports. She is a strong advocate for trauma-informed, inclusive, and anti-oppressive practices, ensuring that treatment approaches align with the diverse needs of the families served.
Her work is particularly impactful in high-risk cases, where she formulates viable treatment strategies for children with complex needs. Through her teaching and supervision, she inspires clinicians to embrace the systemic lens and ecosystemic approach, helping them move beyond isolated interventions to truly transformative family work.
An Inspirational Leader in Training and Supervision
Pinky does more than train—she evokes positive change in the professionals she mentors. She creates space for learning, growth, and reflection, supporting clinicians in developing both their skills and confidence. Beyond structured trainings, she goes the extra mile to ensure that staff feel equipped and empowered to provide the highest level of care to families.
Her impact extends beyond her trainees, as she has inspired others to take on the role of trainer themselves. Through her mentorship, she strengthens not only the individual clinicians she trains but also the future of ESFT training itself.
A Well-Deserved Nomination
Pinky Patel’s dedication to systemic training, mentorship, and clinical excellence makes her a truly deserving nominee for the 2025 Marion Lindblad-Goldberg Award for Trainers. Her ability to cultivate a learning environment that is supportive, challenging, and transformative embodies the very best of ESFT.
Join us in celebrating Pinky’s well-earned recognition and the profound impact she continues to make in the field of family therapy training!
The Philadelphia Child and Family Therapy Training Center is proud to recognize T.M. Smith as a nominee for the 2025 Marion Lindblad-Goldberg (MLG) Award. T.M. exemplifies the core principles of Ecosystemic Structural Family Therapy (ESFT) through his deep systemic thinking, unwavering commitment to relationship-building, and dedication to personal and professional growth.
A Systemic Thinker
One of T.M.’s greatest strengths is his ability to identify and understand patterns at every level—from the child and family to the treatment team, agency, and training cohort. His systemic lens allows him to see beyond individual behaviors, focusing instead on the broader relational dynamics at play. Whether working with families, clinicians, or supervisors, he consistently prioritizes relationships, fostering connection before guiding conversations toward meaningful systemic change.
See the Isomorph
Within the supervisory cohort, T.M. creates a space where growth and reflection thrive. He joins in distress, offering validation and support before skillfully posing systemic questions that redirect the focus to the patterns of therapeutic transactions (POTT). His approach encourages teams to step back, recognize isomorphic processes, and work collaboratively toward solutions that align with the ESFT model.
T.M. also embodies self-awareness and accountability, openly acknowledging his own POTT and continuously working to shift his own patterns. He has demonstrated remarkable balance in leadership, knowing when to step in and when to empower others to take the lead. His ability to speak to his own privilege and offer feedback with thoughtfulness and humility fosters deeper joining and open dialogue within supervisory spaces.
Use the Model
Even in times of crisis, T.M. remains model-focused, helping teams recognize patterns rather than becoming lost in content. His ability to anchor teams in the ESFT framework provides stability and clarity, ensuring that families receive the best possible support.
A Well-Deserved Honor
For his exceptional leadership, systemic insight, and unwavering dedication, we are honored to celebrate T.M. Smith as a nominee for the 2025 MLG Award. His work continues to inspire and strengthen the field of family therapy, making a lasting impact on those he serves.
In The Turnaround, a Netflix short documentary, we witness a rare and powerful moment in sports: a city choosing compassion over criticism. When Philadelphia Phillies shortstop Trea Turner struggled during the 2023 MLB season, the typical response might have been boos and frustration. But what happened instead was extraordinary—fan Jon McCann called for a standing ovation. The city responded. The crowd stood, cheered, and poured belief into a player at one of his lowest moments. What followed was a surge in Turner’s performance, and a deep emotional shift in how fans and athletes connected.
At PCFTTC, we see this moment as a real-world example of social ecology in action. Just like in therapy, healing and growth don’t happen in isolation. People are shaped by their environments—families, communities, systems of support. When one part of the system chooses empathy and encouragement over shame or blame, it reverberates.
Turner’s story reminds us why being strength-based and context-sensitive matters. His performance issues weren’t just about mechanics—they were about mindset, pressure, and the invisible weight of expectations. Instead of pathologizing the “problem” (Turner’s slump), the community looked at the context and chose to support rather than punish. In doing so, they acted as a trauma-informed system—offering safety, connection, and belief.
This is precisely the lens we use in Ecosystemic Structural Family Therapy (ESFT). When working with families, we don’t just treat behaviors—we look at the context that sustains them. We seek to understand before we intervene. We ask: what would happen if this family were met with belief instead of blame?
The Turnaround teaches us that systemic change begins with one choice: to hold dignity and possibility in the face of struggle. As therapists, supervisors, and healers, we can ask ourselves: how do we create our own “standing ovation” moments for the families we serve? How do we choose hope, every time?
Let this story inspire us to keep building systems of care that are trauma-informed, context-sensitive, and full of the kind of strength-based belief that can change lives.
